January Full Moon
There was too much work to be done to make this esbat particularly rich with meaning, but there were a couple experiences and realizations that meant it wasn't a total waste.
As I was coming home from work, very late at night I walked with the moon pouring light down upon me. It was a very cold and very clear night, and I felt the the beautiful white glow flow through the top of my head, into my body, right down to my fingers and toes. I felt revitalized. In the city, where the stars are obscured, the moon is still present and so welcome. It made up somewhat for my inability to get home in time for any really meaningful practice.
My second realization happened as I was going to sleep. I was thinking about my son, and how I am in the early stages of trying to wean him. I was thinking about how hard it was going to be for me. I really enjoy nursing him and haven't tired of it yet, but I think he is getting to the age where it is time to begin the process. My realization was that part of my reluctance to wean him comes from a fear that our good relationship is based on the nursing relationship and that, when he is weaned, we will no longer have that closeness. This realization makes me feel selfish. I also think it is likely unfounded. But, it is significant for me to realize these fears as I begin this life-changing shift that is going to be very important for both he and I.
The other significant progress I made took until the next day to ferment, but when it did it excited me greatly. I have been thinking for some time now that I had to find something bigger than my life to dedicate some time to. I am feeling a great need to try to affect the politics of my world in a positive way -- to fulill the missing crone-hood of my psyche . I think I've come up with a unique idea that has the potential to have an impact. I have to explore it a little more, but I am unwilling not to take action, and I think the idea is a good one. I am looking forward to making it happen.
-Thriceraven
As I was coming home from work, very late at night I walked with the moon pouring light down upon me. It was a very cold and very clear night, and I felt the the beautiful white glow flow through the top of my head, into my body, right down to my fingers and toes. I felt revitalized. In the city, where the stars are obscured, the moon is still present and so welcome. It made up somewhat for my inability to get home in time for any really meaningful practice.
My second realization happened as I was going to sleep. I was thinking about my son, and how I am in the early stages of trying to wean him. I was thinking about how hard it was going to be for me. I really enjoy nursing him and haven't tired of it yet, but I think he is getting to the age where it is time to begin the process. My realization was that part of my reluctance to wean him comes from a fear that our good relationship is based on the nursing relationship and that, when he is weaned, we will no longer have that closeness. This realization makes me feel selfish. I also think it is likely unfounded. But, it is significant for me to realize these fears as I begin this life-changing shift that is going to be very important for both he and I.
The other significant progress I made took until the next day to ferment, but when it did it excited me greatly. I have been thinking for some time now that I had to find something bigger than my life to dedicate some time to. I am feeling a great need to try to affect the politics of my world in a positive way -- to fulill the missing crone-hood of my psyche . I think I've come up with a unique idea that has the potential to have an impact. I have to explore it a little more, but I am unwilling not to take action, and I think the idea is a good one. I am looking forward to making it happen.
-Thriceraven
posted by --- at 11:59 PM
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