Not many people would consider this a good sign

I have been hearing voices again. No really, it's a good thing.

I have always had what most people would call auditory hallucinations fairly often, ever since I was a child. But before you go trying to commit me or anything, I know full well what is going on around me in the physical world and what is not.

Mostly, I hear voices, often of loved ones. Sometimes they are saying my name, and later I hear that they were thinking about me or I'll get an email from them that was sent around the same time. Sometimes I hear groups of small voices speaking too low for me to hear, but chattering together.

I hadn't noticed that these things had stopped and I don't know exactly when it happened. But in the days since I have tried to become more attuned with my spiritual life they have started again. I haven't even done a proper Circle or anything, just tried to open myself up again.

Yesterday, I heard the voice of the 5 year old in my family in the house while she was away at school. (Please note I live in a polyamorous family, and we co-parent the children. So although she is not technically my daughter, I consider myself one of her parents. If you don't know what polyamory means, look it up. Wikipedia is a good place.) I have heard a baby crying in our house when both babies were happy. And last night I heard small laughing voices coming from our hot water heater.

Wow, that sounds crazier written out than I thought it would. My explanation is that we imprint some of our spirit on to the places we spend our time. In other words, our house holds the "ghosts" of our children even when they aren't here. As for the babbling appliance, it is accepted in Wicca that the four elements of the ancients -- Earth, Air, Fire and Water -- have their own individual spirits that haunt those elements. It sounded to me like our hot water heater had quite a collection of happy water spirits last night.

I used to be frightened of these voices when I was young. I thought I was hearing ghosts and that it was something to be frightened of. When I decided to become a witch a few years ago the feelings of fear evaporated. Now it makes me happy to be in tune with these things.

But you probably just think I'm nuts... :)

I should have remembered this

I'm posting in this blog much more often than I expected to...

I was again reading Wicca for Life today. In it there is a concept which I knew at one time but had forgotten, just when I have needed it most.

When doing magick, he states, or even when wanting something to come to pass, you must not hope for it, wish for it or beg for it, but envision that it already has happened.

So I am now envisioning the letter that will come that will tell me what I want to hear about my work. I can see it arriving in my inbox. I can read the lines in it. I can see myself happily working in my new place.

I am going to take some time every day for these visions until they come to pass.

I wonder if this concept is what drew me to this book the other day.

Dream

I know it's not the full moon yet, but I had a dream last night that felt important that I wanted to post.

First: I was reading a wonderful book I just got called Wicca for Life by Raymond Buckland. It is about creating covens within the family. I'm not sure I will be able to do this, since my family contains many differing religious ideas (which makes for a very enriching environment). As well, I have issues with including children in magickal circles. However, the book is full of wonderful ideas and rituals. It is very Gardernerian in tradition and the practices are a bit different from mine, but the beliefs are very similar, and the book emphasizes an acceptance of different traditions.

In the book, the writer admonishes those that create their Book of Shadows electronically. This is rightfully so. Books used within the magickal circle should always be lovingly handwritten. I typically memorize my incantations, but if I do use notes I always write them out. I may transcribe some of them here after, but never for use in the circle. I plan to use this as more of a journal of my magickal practices and experiences.

On to the dream:

I went to bed last night thinking a bit about the lessons we learn from the Triple-Aspect Goddess. The Goddess (and indeed all women) exist in three forms: Maiden, Mother and Crone. (Men can also think of their lives in an analagous way, but they lack the life changes of menstruation, giving birth and menopause that help frame these states.) And although at times in our lives we may be centred in on of the three aspects mainly, it is important to remember to keep all aspects of the Goddess as part of our lives.

What does this mean? The Maiden works for the betterment of herself, the Mother for the betterment of her family, and the Crone for the betterment of her community or world. Although one of these can become dominant for quite some time, to be a whole person one must keep all of these lanterns burning. This is the meaning of the "thrice" part of my name.

I was considering this last evening. I am a mother of a 7 month old son, and my work has been put on hold for this and other reasons so I am very much in a Mother phase of my life. I am vastly enjoying it. Along with this, I am part of a polyamorous family with three children total and 5 adults, so my family is a very large part of my time.

I am working to keep up the Maiden part of my personality with things like this blog and working to get myself back to work. I worry that my Crone aspect is suffering a little, although there are things I am doing from this perspective as well.

I dreamt last night that I was walking at night near the house where I grew up beside a vacant lot where my mother, brother and I used to fly our kites. The lot is no longer vacant -- it contains a new housing development -- but in my dream it looked like it did when I was a child. It was a cloudy night, but the wispy clouds kept parting to show the stars more brilliantly than I have seen in a while. I was walking with a young woman. I don't know her in life, but in my dream I knew she was intelligent but quite young and innocent. She was asking me questions about her sexuality, and about pregnancy and I was answering them as best I could.

It was a very Crone-laden dream. I don't know if my subconscious was trying to tell me I was doing fine as a Crone, or whether I needed to do more.

About this blog

A Book of Shadows is a book kept by a witch that documents his/her religious practice. It may contain descriptions of rituals, spells, incantations or recipes related to his/her practice as a witch, and the results, emotions or insights derived from the practice. It may read like a cookbook, or more like a journal. There is often some element of secrecy, and a prudent witch never writes down a complete description of her rituals that could be followed by idle readers.

(Please note: The gender-inclusive language is getting a bit cumbersome. I am going to switch to "her". No offense is meant to male practitioners of The Craft. English needs a new pronoun.)

I have always wanted one, but have found I am not good at keeping such a journal up to date. I am hoping I will have better luck in this format.

As with all religions, there are various traditions and sects within Wicca. There are some basic tenets held by all Wiccans, but there are also many diverse practices. Unlike some other religions, a witch is allowed -- even encouraged -- to pick and choose the specific beliefs and practices that work for her. Some witches recognize only a Goddess, while others see the world hung in balance between a Goddess and a God. Some add elements of Eastern philosophy or Native American spirituality to their practice. Some carefully choose dates on which to work their magick while others do it when the need arises. Some talk to the God and Goddess using only one name each, others pick and choose names that reflect the aspect of the deity being evoked. Some practice as part of covens, or attend gatherings while others, like me, work alone.

I practice a nature-based worship. The Goddess and the God are my representations of the Great Power that perfuses all things, and which is strongest in those we define as alive. I live my beliefs every day, but like many pagans I celebrate them formally about 21 times a year -- on the 13 full moons, the solstices and equinoxes and the cross-quarter days. Right now, I am living in a house undergoing extreme renovations and have no indoor ritual space, and our urban Canadian winter precludes outdoor rituals with bonfires or candles so I rarely get to draw proper circles, but I always celebrate my "ritual days" in some way, even if it is only by going for a walk for personal reflection or by special lovemaking with one of my partners. I am much more centred and "comfortable in my own skin" when I take the time to formally practice my beliefs.

In my practice I use spells and incantations that I write myself. I use the power of herbs and teas, candles and simple ritual objects. On the day of a ritual, I make sure not to impede my spiritual faculties by eating to excess or drinking, and I always begin by having a bath. When circumstances allow I work naked.

A word about my name: many pagans take a new magickal name when they are initiated into The Craft. This name symbolizes their rebirth as a spiritual being, and is similar to the Catholic practice of taking a new name at confirmation. I took the name Thriceraven 5 years ago when I intiated myself into The Craft. I have always considered ravens to be my "totem" animal. The "thrice" comes from the Triple-Aspect Goddess. It is very important to me that I include all three aspects of the Goddess in my daily life. (More on this in another post.) A ritual name also allows a certain amount of anonimity, which is useful for both magickal and practical reasons.

This blog exists primarily for me -- to put into words the things above that I have only known emotionally, and to journal my rituals, the results and my emotions concerning them. However, please feel free to post comments. I am a solitary witch and have never practiced with other pagans, and although I read books and other people's webpages it would be neat to have a discussion of sorts with other practitioners.

Wow, that was really long. I will post again on or near the full moon.