In response to comment...

Please see my response to a comment on the entry titled "Sigil".

May Full Moon

I spent most of the day yesterday mildly upset. It has been a rough few days -- I was in a car accident on Thursday with both babies in the car. They are fine and so am I, but I am very upset that I put them in danger, and that I ruined a perfectly good car. Also, I am currently writing a proposal for my work going forward, and it is very important that it is very, very good. I am a bit rusty at thinking and writing about science and it is taking longer than it should. As well, I can only work when my baby is aleep or someone else is looking after him, and everyone else is as busy (or busier) than I am.

For a few minutes last night before falling asleep, I tried to meditate on a couple of things. First, that my work and my time with my baby are both beautiful, wonderful things that balance each other nicely -- one is the "break" from the other. One is my Maiden work, and the other my Mother work. (Still need to find some Crone time in there...) I also tried to meditate on the fact I am a competent adult, competent to drive and to get my PhD. Even the most competent people make mistakes sometimes. One driving mistake does not call into question my competence.

These are the things I am working on. I had no flashes of insight yesterday, but they can't come every month.

Beltane

This Beltane, I had some very important magickal work to do. I am about to start working again and I have been very worried about how it is going to go. I decided that, after all I have been through, I needed a purification ritual in preparation.

I filled a baby-food jar with salt water and walked to the park. I sat under my favourite tree overlooking the city. Carefully and clearly I stated it was my will to earn and recieve my PhD. I related that I had been attacked and that I required purification.

I annointed my forehead with the salted water for Wisdom, my mouth for Communication, my breasts for Productivity, my hands for Work, my genitals for Genesis, my legs for Strength and my feet for Choice. I talked a bit about each of these qualities and how I would need them in my journey.

I spoke to the Goddess and told her that I required symbols to help me on my journey. For taking in and assimilating information and advice, I chose the symbol of eating. I talked about how eating is easy for me, and that it is welcome and enjoyable, and that I do it every day and will continue to do so. I stated that I will remember eating as a symbol of learning and information assembly. For communication and production of ideas and results, I chose the symbol of nursing, also something easy and enjoyable. And for the interplay between learning and communicating my ideas -- the conversation that is research -- I chose the symbol of lovemaking. This is symbolic magick -- just as I can easily and enjoyably do these things, I will be able to easily and enjoyably do the things that I have linked them with.

The jar of salted water is in my dresser drawer, and will go with me to work when I start. I have already annointed myself as I did on Beltane, reciting the qualities I need, before doing things in preparation for going back to work. I will continue to do so until my goal has been fulfilled.