August Full Moon

I just returned a few days ago from Pennsic, and the full moon happened while I was there. But pretty much all of Pennsic was a spiritual time -- if you haven't been there, you can't understand.

Pennsic had a theme for me this year -- higher self confidence. Over and over again, I was validated as a person by different people in different ways. It was wonderful to get away from work and my tendency to rate my worth as a person on my performance as a graduate student.

I hope I can carry that with me back to work.

Response to comment...

See my response to comment below on my last post.

Lammas

A couple days ago was Lammas -- the festival of First Fruits. It is a celebration of the Goddess as Mother and concerns Nature it all Her productivity.

Rather than a ritual, I spent the day meditating any moment I got. My work has been worrisome and difficult lately, and I haven't been enjoying it as much as I should. I concentrated on the idea of productivity, and envisioned each experiment bringing me more and more knowledge, ever on an upward path toward my goals. I envisioned tending my work with the sort of care and love I use to tend my son. I soothed my self with thoughts of confidence -- I am able to do this, my work will be valid and sound, I am worthy to be doing this work, even unexpected results provide knowledge.

Another note: Yesterday, I was waiting for a shop to open -- it had one of those "Be right back" signs in the window and I needed to pick something up there. I wandered the neighbourhood a bit and ended up in the library around the corner. I surfed the non-fiction section and found myself pulling on of Starhawk's books off the shelf in the Religion section. Starhawk is a feminist Wirch who has written some very useful works. I only read a page or two -- I don't even remember the title -- but it made me reflect on her name. I thought about how it must be her Wiccan name, and that made me think about my own -- Thriceraven. As I heard the word in my mind, I felt a huge sense of power behind it -- welling up inside me, bigger than I am.

Many thing came to me out of this experience. Perhaps the most important was that this feeling of power came during a random moment I hadn't scheduled -- an accidental quiet time I didn't plan to have. It made me remember that magick so often happens in these sorts of moments, and if I don't make a point of having these sort of quiet times in my life, I will not be privy to magick.